Many individuals living with obesity find themselves asking a deeply personal and often painful question: “Why me?” For countless patients, this question stems from years of shame, confusion, and the isolation that comes with feeling like the only one in their family battling weight issues. Despite having parents or siblings who appear fit and healthy, they still carry the burden of obesity—and the emotional weight that comes with it.
The answer is complex, but not without hope.
Obesity is not a character flaw, yet society often treats it as one. The truth is, obesity results from a combination of genetics, environment, metabolism, and lifestyle factors—not simply a lack of willpower. In many cases, individuals may have inherited a predisposition toward weight gain, with factors like hormone imbalances, slower metabolic rates, and even early childhood nutritional environments setting the stage long before adult choices ever entered the picture.
In today’s world, we also face an environment that’s fundamentally different from that of past generations. Ultra-processed foods, sedentary lifestyles, and chronic stress contribute to an obesity epidemic that spans all demographics. Even people who eat moderately or try to make healthy choices often find themselves gaining weight due to hormonal feedback loops that influence hunger, satiety, and fat storage.
For those who feel hopeless or defeated by past attempts to lose weight, modern bariatric options like mini gastric bypass surgery offer more than physical change—they offer a path to emotional healing. By addressing the physiological root causes of obesity, this procedure has helped thousands regain control of their bodies and their lives.
Patients often find that the surgery not only resets their ability to lose weight but also improves their mental clarity and confidence. As the weight comes off, the emotional fog begins to lift. Self-worth strengthens. Mobility returns. And the support system provided by practices like MGB Surgery ensures that patients never walk this journey alone.
Whether someone is dealing with genetic predisposition, hormonal resistance, or the scars of emotional eating, mini gastric bypass surgery can be a powerful tool in rewriting the narrative. It’s not about fixing someone who is broken—it’s about helping them rediscover the version of themselves that has been buried beneath years of struggle.
If you’ve been asking, “Why did obesity find me?” know that the real question isn’t why—but what you can do next. And the answer may begin with a conversation about weight loss surgery that is focused on compassion, science, and long-term support.
Contact the team today schedule your free consultation.
View The Interview
Video Transcript
Dr. Hargroder:
Hey, hey, hey! So, our topic for today—tell me in your own words what you were thinking. I know I paraphrased it earlier but didn’t quite capture it.
Carla:
I originally landed on the topic “Why Did Obesity Find Me?” But as I sat here, waiting to start, I realized I don’t like that title. It’s painful. It really is—confusing and emotional. I was the only obese person in my immediate family. My mom was 110 pounds, my dad 170, my brother was an athletic star—and then there was me. I used to ask if I was adopted.
It was painful thinking about all of this, but thankfully, there’s a happy ending. So I don’t mind sharing. Let’s talk about it.
Dr. Hargroder:
I actually love this topic because talking through pain helps us better understand it and hopefully move past it. It’s the core idea of my book Obesity Is Not a Character Flaw. Many people struggling with weight beat themselves up, thinking, “This is all my fault.” They feel depressed, hurt, breathless—sidelined from life. That creates shame, often reinforced by society’s prejudice.
Carla:
Absolutely.
Dr. Hargroder:
And when someone finally explains the physiology of obesity, it can be a huge relief. It’s not just about willpower or character. That explanation can be soothing and empowering.
Carla:
Yes—it takes away the shame and years of pain. It helps you feel good about who you are and gives you permission to truly be yourself.
Dr. Hargroder:
And for many, weight loss surgery is a key part of overcoming that pain. I hear it over and over—it’s not an exaggeration to say it can feel like a prison sentence. Asking “Why me?” is valid.
Even if your immediate family is thin, look further into your family tree—you’ll likely find obesity scattered throughout. And we’re also living in an obesity epidemic now that didn’t exist 50 years ago.
Carla:
Yes.
Dr. Hargroder:
Modern life is a big factor—our eating habits, processed foods, chemicals we don’t even know we’re consuming. Who knows what it’s doing to us?
Carla:
You’re so right. Both sets of my grandparents were obese. My grandmother even spent 13 years in a nursing home because my mom was too small to care for her. I saw myself going down the same path. As a kid, I even had the same nickname they gave her. When I passed 300 pounds, I felt hopeless.
Dr. Hargroder:
That’s tough.
Carla:
The good news? We found you—and the mini gastric bypass. That’s why I chose this topic. It’s a painful journey, but the destination is beautiful.
Dr. Hargroder:
Let’s talk about what actually causes this. It’s a big question, but genetics play a major role. For instance, I tell patients—don’t hate me—but I could eat whatever I wanted, junk food galore, and never gain weight. I had terrible eating habits as a kid and never paid the price.
Meanwhile, others are genetically programmed to gain weight. It might kick in at puberty, after having kids, or even in early childhood. The body’s metabolism slows. Hormones like ghrelin and leptin get out of balance. One person feels full quickly, another never gets that signal and keeps eating.
Carla:
Yes.
Dr. Hargroder:
People often worry—“I’m an emotional eater. I have trauma. Surgery won’t work for me.” But it does. It corrects those hormonal imbalances. You might need closer follow-up, but surgery works. And we’ve seen it again and again.
Carla:
And as we lose weight, we regain mental clarity and confidence. That’s why the support meetings help so much. Like our Thursday night sessions at Roscoe’s—6:00 p.m.—people come together who had surgery years ago or just recently. It keeps you moving forward.
Dr. Hargroder:
Absolutely. Support is a critical piece of long-term success. Whether you had surgery 5 years ago or 15—we’re here. And we’ve got a great group already signed up for tomorrow’s meeting.
Carla:
That’s wonderful. And for anyone curious about the surgery, they can call me directly at 314-807-7110. Again, that’s 314-807-7110.
Dr. Hargroder:
Perfect.
Carla:
Yes, call me!
Dr. Hargroder:
Well, Carla, I wish you and Henry lived closer. Would love to see you join us for some karaoke Thursday night. Maybe next time.
Carla:
We’ll make it happen. Take care!